The Election
by Rach
Summary: Jake and Visser Three run for president, with very interesting results .. hehe .. R&R please!!


Authors Note: All characters, names, places .. Everything in this fic DOES NOT belong to us (yes there are two people writing this story). Credit goes where credit is credited.

This is our (YES WE ARE TWO PEOPLE) first ever fanfic. We got the idea for this fic from the presidential election, which is between George W. Bush and Al Gore. But instead of Gore and Bush, Jake and Visser Three are running for presidency, and lots of interesting things happen .. Hehe. Please Review! Remember, all Flames are welcome. Thanks, read on!

P.S. Everyone is SO OOC, but shhhhh it's part of the story! Please don't kill us! 

****

CNN BREAKING NEWS with Rachel and Marco Dandruff, bringing you the news with a smile on their faces (especially Rachel). 

REPORTER MARCO: Good evening, and welcome to CNN. Well, with the Election only days away, the Presidential Candidates are working hard to get votes. We will now cross over to our reporter, Rachel, live in Washington. 

::Camera cuts to Rachel's smiling face:: 

REPORTER RACHEL: Thank you, Marco. Yes, the candidates are working very hard. As you will see in the crowd behind me, 

:: there is a large group of people listening to someone talk::

RACHEL: they are all supporting Jake, who is running for president. And, might I add, I am proud to say Jake is my cousin. 

:: Rachel's smile gets even bigger:: 

RACHEL: We will now go to the speech that Jake is giving. 

:: Camera cuts to Jake standing behind a podium, a number of cameras are flashing in his face::

JAKE: If you vote for me, I will try my hardest to protect the American people from these evil slug PARASITES! 

:: Whole crowd cheers and claps except one person (Controller), who everyone looks at evilly and he runs for the far distant hills. Camera flashes back to a smiling Rachel::

RACHEL: Now, let's cross over LIVE to Visser Three giving his speech. 

:: Camera crosses over to Visser Three, giving his terrifying speech::

VISSER THREE: If I am elected, I assure you I will take over Earth with my Yeerk army, and infest all of your pathetic minds, then kill anyone who gets in my way!

:: Whole crowd cheers and claps (they are all controllers) One person boo's and everyone gives him evil stares. Then Visser Three shoots him with a Dracon beam. Everyone claps and cheers again. Camera flashes back to a smiling Rachel::

RACHEL: A chilling look at possible things to come J Back to the studio. 

:: Camera cuts back to the CNN newsroom where Marco is looking at the cameras in shock. He blinks::

MARCO: Er, thank you, Rachel. And now, after disappearing mysteriously for several days, but now happily back, here's Aximili with the weather. 

:: Camera cuts to Ax in the weather room. He is looking **_EXTREMELY_** suspicious::

AXIMILI: The weather. Who cares about the weather on this pitiful planet, anyway?

:: Narrows eyes:: 

AXIMILI: My master, Visser Three, will soon have this planet!

:: Ax smiles an insane smile (with his eyes, you fools), and puts up a poster of Visser Three. He then grovels in front of the poster for several minutes then stops and laughs evilly:: 

AXIMILI: Visser Three will have you ALL! MWAHAHAHAHA!

::Ax moves to make a dramatic exit through an open window - but in his madness he does not realise the window is shut. He smacks into the window and is knocked unconscious. Camera cuts back to Marco in the CNN newsroom::

MARCO: (looking shocked) Well.

:: He clears his throat and flips through his papers, then clasps his hands together::

MARCO: That was disturbing. 

:: Pause as Marco takes a deep breath::

MARCO: We'll be right back.

****

A FEW DAYS LATER…

Day 1 Headlines:

**American People Vote Today!**

Day 2 Headlines:

**American People Say "It's Too Confusing!"**

Day 3 Headlines: 

Visser Three Tipped To Win

:: Camera cuts back to CNN newsroom. Rachel and Marco are sitting behind the desk::

RACHEL: (smiling) Good afternoon, and welcome to CNN. We will be covering the Election all day today. I'm Rachel Dandruff.

MARCO: And I'm Marco Dandruff.

:: Rachel and Marco chat about something un-important for awhile, then Marco puts a hand up to his ear-piece::

MARCO: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are receiving something, 

::Pause:: 

MARCO: No, wait, I apologise. It's nothing. 

::Pause::

MARCO: No, wait, I believe I've got something. 

::Marco listens to his earpiece for a moment. He then looks up, shocked:: 

MARCO: Ladies and Gentlemen, the votes have been counted. It has just been confirmed. 

::Marco holds back tears and his voice shakes from now on:: 

MARCO: Visser Three is the new president. God, help us all.

:: Rachel bursts into tears and takes out a hip flask of whiskey and takes a long swig. She then looks up and realises the cameras are still rolling. She puts the flask away and smiles widely::

**__**

A FEW HOURS LATER…

CNN BREAKING NEWS with Rachel and Marco Dandruff, feeling utterly stupid at this point in time. 

MARCO: Ladies and Gentlemen, we at CNN feel rather stupid, um…

:: Deep breath::

MARCO: Earlier on we announced that Visser Three was the new president of America. 

:: Marco is having trouble talking:: 

MARCO: It turns out that Visser Three is not, I repeat, NOT the president of the United States. We at CNN apologise deeply for our mistake. The votes are to be recounted. We will bring you news about that later. We, again, apologise.

**__**

ONE DAY LATER…

Day 4 Headlines:

**Visser Three Tangled Up In Sex Scandal with Jake's Wife!**

Written by Rita Skeeter (for some strange reason)

The public have claimed to have seen none other than Visser Three and Cassie Dandruff, wife of Jake, fellow candidate, out in the public showing deep affection to each other. Could this be some evil way of Visser Three to get back at Jake? It would certainly dirty Visser Three's reputation, does he have a motive? 

Visser Three claims "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."

Jake held no comment on the matter, but he did brush away a tear as our news team walked down the drive. 

There will be a court hearing tomorrow. 

****

CNN BREAKING NEWS with Rachel and Marco Dandruff, your nosy reporters. But always with a smile on their face, _always_. 

:: Camera cuts to Marco sitting behind his desk. But he is in the courtroom where they are holding the hearing for Visser Three and Jake::

MARCO: Hi this is Marco Dandruff live at the courtroom. Unfortunately, Cassie has not been able to make it to the hearing today, she seems to have mysteriously disappeared. We will cross live to Cassie's house where Rachel is reporting.

:: Camera cuts to Cassie's house where Rachel is standing in front of it::

RACHEL: Thank you, Marco. Now, there appears to be nothing at this house that gives evidence to Cassie's disappearance…

:: Little does Rachel know, she is standing next to a pile of brown ashes with a few short black hairs sticking out of it::

RACHEL: But this porch could certainly do with a sweep. Back to you in the courtroom, Marco.

:: Camera cuts back to Marco. Marco blinks::

MARCO: Thank you, Rachel. 

:: Tobias enters the courtroom. Visser Three jumps to his hooves and hugs Tobias tightly::

VISSER THREE: Thank God you're here!

JAKE: Tobias, how could you!? I thought you were defending me!

TOBIAS: Well, he had more money. 

:: Judge taps hammer on her desk::

JUDGE JUDY: Order in the court! Now, I have concluded the only way to settle this is a battle to the death. Whoever wins gets to be president. Whoever loses gets an automatic death penalty. We will both give you a Dracon beam. No morphing is allowed, either of you!

MARCO: Can I be the ref, Judge?

JUDGE JUDY: NO! I AM!

:: Marco cowers in the corner for the rest of the fic. A boxing ring suddenly appears::

JUDGE JUDY: When I blow my whistle, you will both fire your Dracon beams.

:: Judge Judy is now standing outside the ring with a whistle in her hand. Judge Judy blows her whistle. Jake and Visser Three both pull out their Dracon beams. There is a flash of red light and both Jake and the Visser are nothing but two piles of dust with hairs sticking out. Judge Judy blinks::

JUDGE JUDY: Oh, dear. 

:: Judge Judy takes a deep breath::

JUDGE JUDY: Well, the new president will have to be the next person running, after Jake and Visser Three. And that person is…

:: Steve from Blues Clues bursts in the court, followed by his dog, Blue::

JUDGE JUDY: Steve Burns.

:: Little kids are heard cheering. All the adults groan. Steve starts singing and music starts to play mysteriously from nowhere::

STEVE: Blues Clues, Blues Clues (Blues Clues!) Now we find another paw print … 

:: Camera cuts to Marco in the corner - he is still scared. Marco takes a deep breath::

MARCO: Well, what a turn of events, Ladies and Gentlemen. CNN is proud to announce that Steve Burns is the new president of America. From us at CNN, goodnight.

:: Camera cuts to Rachel still at Cassie's house. She is sweeping the porch and muttering to herself::

RACHEL: Goodnight.

****

Day 6 Headlines:

New President Steve Burns Makes New Law: "Play Blues Clues Every Day!"

Day 7 Headlines:

American People Get Sick of Playing Blues Clues

Day 8 Headlines:

Death Threats Sent to Whitehouse

Day 9 Headlines:

Blue Assassinated!

Day 10 Headlines:

Steve Dies From Heroin Overdose - America Rejoices.

**THE END!!!**

We hope you liked our fic!


End file.
